So why do I do it?

Its mother's day.
I'm sore, I'm achey, In half an hour-ish my toddler will wakeup for naptime, and the nightly routine of cook, feed, cleanup, feed again, force to help clean, bed will start.  I will barely be able to walk by that point, as I'm only halfway through today's workout... 30 day shred completed, but still got c25k day 3 to go... and i'm already shaky.

So, why do I do it? It'd be so much easier to eat with the kids. To clean the mess... whenever I get to it.  To not workout.

Here's an example.  I took my kids to the mall last week.  A fairly big deal for us, because we rarely go anywhere.  (more-so because my daughter is not with me full time -- a consequence of my drug addiction many years ago.) I had just ripped the inner thigh of my last pair of jeans that fit the day before.  Which made me cry, because I own about 16 pairs of very nice jeans that fit me a year ago, and have progressively stopped fitting.  It also made me cry because I had to wear them anyway, after trying on all 16 other pairs, because all of my assorted yoga/workout pants were in the dryer which has a busted door and occasionally fails to dry things.  so i was already in a bad mood, and we were 10 minutes late picking up my daughter... which is a huge deal when i only get 3-4 hours every couple of weeks.

we stopped by the disney store, and then walked to the giant bungee-jump, so my daughter could bounce up and down for a while.

The sign read "180 lbs maxium".
90 pounds less than me.
The mere thought of stepping on the scale in public was actually mortifying.
So I had to tell my precious little girl that I couldn't play with her.  after being late. after realizing i'm too fat for my clothing.

i want to be around for my grandkids, my greatgrand kids too even.  and i'd like to be able to do anything they want.  to be comfortable with myself enough to do it, too.  you just aren't comfortable when you're worried your jeans are going to rip even further, exposing parts you don't even like to look at.

thats why i do it.

so, off to jog i go!